What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

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Does any other guys get turned on by dick pic makes you lick lips because you what to suck?

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why does Islam give a bad vibe?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Why do the Republican city officials at Springfield Ohio continue to deny that immigrants are eating pets to sabotage the Trump campaign, even though immigrant pet-eating is now widely believed to be true?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Make Nazis afraid again!

How do you know how physically attractive you actually are?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

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Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

What causes you to be tired all the time and major headaches?

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Is it because Trump is impulsive that he is never on time?

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How do you find out who your handler is as a targeted individual?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

What trains transport cars and passengers near Pompano Beach, Florida that goes to New York?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why do I feel so lazy every time I get into my room?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...